Being a birth mother can hold some of the most beautiful and tragic emotions. Regardless of what a story may hold, there is no denying or hiding the emotions that come with placing a child. Fortunately, there is way more support for birth mothers today with social media than ever before. Not only is this support found on social media, but within the education that adoptive parents receive and the paradigm shift in adoption agencies as they realize birth mothers are of a great value to their child long after placement.
With these emotions, the feeling may ebb and flow as a child grows and a birth mother enters a new chapter in her life. Some of the most beautiful stories and poems have been written that outline the love a birth mother has for her child as well as the vulnerability she may feel as time passes. Here are four heart-wrenching and thought-provoking quotes about being a birth mother:
1. “When I chose adoption for my birth son, the last thing I did was give up.” – Sierra Kilpatrick
This quote unpacks the essence of the choice to place a child for adoption. Most birth mothers do not place their child because they did not want to try to parent. They placed their child because of many reasons that include bettering their life and the life of their child.
2. “A child born to another woman calls me mom. The depth of the tragedy and the magnitude of the privilege are not lost on me.” – Jody Landers
This quote is not from, but rather about, a birth mother. This very much echoes my sentiments toward the birth mother in my life. I feel incredibly blessed to be an adoptive mom to two incredible children, but my heart breaks that their mom could not parent. I don’t believe for a second that “God’s plan” was for them to be mine. It was not plan A. I am a mother to my two precious babies out of a place of necessity and love for both them and their mom.
3. “Giving birth does not make a mother… Placing a child for adoption does not make her less of one.” – Unknown
I love my children with all of my heart and they are my beautiful babies, but their mom will always be their mom. I will share the title proudly. They will have a relationship with me that she will never have with them and they will have a relationship with her that they will never have with me. The more love they have in their life, the better.
4. “Don’t judge a situation you’ve never been in.” – Unknown
There seems to be some sort of stereotypical judgment placed on birth mothers that the placement of their child came from some sort of bad life decision. Women place their children for a multitude of reasons and often times resulting from nothing that they did wrong. Regardless of why a child was placed, it is no one’s job to judge the decision or make an assumption about a birth mother. My children’s birth mom is one of the strongest and kindest people I know. If you have not been where she has been, keep your assumptions to yourself.