Adoption is complicated. It gets more complicated as my children grow and become aware of the world around them. When we started this journey with the birth of our first son six years ago, we knew that open adoption would be best for him. We had no idea what that would mean, look like, or be. We just knew that we wanted to raise children who knew they were loved, didn’t feel abandoned (at least not all the time), and had confidence in themselves. The complexity of relationships in adoption can change day by day and year by year. Here are a few quotes that capture some of the feelings adoptees have about adoption.
1. “There is so much loss wrapped up in adoption that it is unfair to ask a child to be thankful. “
2. “I’m no expert. I’m just a hamburger cook. But I believe in adoption. I believe it is a positive thing. I think everyone deserves a permanent, loving home.
— Dave Thomas, Wendy’s Founder
3. “I have a lot of respect for my birth mother. I know she must have had a lot of love for me to want to give me what she felt was a better chance.”
— Faith Hill
4. “I am a living testament that you can be adopted and successful.”
— Dante Culpepper
5. “There is one woman whose gentle face is always before me, whose voice I hear when there is silence in the house and whose gnarled hands seems to be shyly touching my shoulders when my thoughts are blue. “
— Art Linkletter
6. “My (adoptive) mother showed me how to reach for something extra when the logical decision is to give up. She had an unwavering faith in my talent and my ability, more than I did at that time. “
— Scott Hamilton
7. “They brought me up as if I was their own child. They worried about me, guided me, punished me, all in the spirit of fairness. I never doubted their love.
— Nelson Mandela
8. “Your child was adopted. They will be and should be a million other things in their lifetime, as well.”
— Madeleine Melcher
9. “I’m an orphan. But the public adopted me, and that has been my only family. The biggest family in the world is my fans.
— Eartha Kitt
10. “I speak about family and adoption because it 100% changed my life and who I am. It definitely played a very large role into just learning how to be grateful for what you have and being fulfilled in a way that a lot of adopted kids don’t feel.”
— Jenna Ushkowitz
No matter what your connection to adoption or what part of the triad you represent, there are always going to be strong and differing feelings across the board. Some have wonderful adoption stories to share and others have tragic adoption stories. This shapes and molds their opinion of life, adoption, and moving forward. It is possible to heal, recover, and live fulfilling, happy lives through adoption. Embrace the good, the bad, and the ugly and work through it as a family. And then revel in the glory that brought you together.